Handwritten, with love

These days, when my mailbox is filled with real estate flyers, requests for “last chance to match your donation” letters, and pizza advertisements, it feels like finding a pearl in an oyster when I get a handwritten card. Oh, the joy of a “real” letter!

It’s so lovely to have something tangible to hold in this era of texts and emails and Slack messages that disappear from my thoughts almost as soon as I’ve read them. Handwritten letters and cards feel like permanent, non-vanishing communications.

Without reading the return address, we can usually tell by the handwriting who’s sent the letter because we each have a distinctive style of writing, a style that often matches our personality. I like to think of our handwriting as a personal heartprint.

My uncle Clifford had amazing handwriting. An artistic man, who loved painting and drawing and creating living canvases with his flower gardens, Clifford’s script was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. When I spoke about him at his funeral, I mentioned his handwriting in this way:

There was something about his penmanship

That made us know — even as kids —

Uncle Clifford was unique, and very, very special.

That perfectly rounded “C”

The long sweeping “p” when he signed “Uncle Cip”

The magnificent way he wrote his ‘J’s” that I tried so hard to copy

Practicing over and over — still, my Jensen’s never looked the same.

I love my husband’s handwriting too. It’s quirky and distinctive, hard to categorize, just like he is. And beyond his soulful penmanship, he always takes the time to write his words on a beautiful card for birthdays and Valentines Days — sentiments that are lengthy and meaningful and very heartfelt. The truth is that his cards are my favorite gifts of all.

When I was first looking at the minutes from the real Wednesday Club, beginning in 1928, I was struck by the beautiful cursive script — definitely a style from bygone days.

And I can still remember the penmanship guidelines on the chalkboard of my third-grade classroom, illustrating just how far below the line the tails of the letters f, g, j, p, q, y, and z should go.

About 15 years ago, schools stopped teaching cursive handwriting (which made me sad), but recently that decision has been reversed. Many states, including California and Florida, are now reinstating cursive instruction, citing how it aids in brain development and fine motor skills.

Indeed, writing forces you to slow down and think about things, and there is a more direct connection from your brain to your hand when you write on paper vs typing on a keyboard. In fact, research shows that writing by hand lights up multiple parts of your brain, areas that are associated with creativity, memory, and your senses.

In her book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron recommends to writers the practice of “morning pages”: three full pages written every morning right after waking up. This exercise is a great way to loosen up your thinking by getting your stream of consciousness down on paper. The important part is not what you write, but rather the exercise of moving your pen across the paper to get your thoughts flowing.

For those of us sentimentalists trying to clear clutter, organization experts warn us that cards and letters and other ephemera are some of the hardest to let go of. My great-grandmother and grandmother left us with hundreds of cards and letters. The birthday and wedding cards from people we didn’t know were easy to discard, but certain letters provided valuable family history and insights into relationships and they remain as treasures to be saved. Letters create connection, even to a past we didn’t know.

Just a few of the boxes of correspondence I could never part with.

I have boxes of these treasures: 40th birthday cards from a party I’ll always remember, love letters from old boyfriends (no, I’m not revealing names), sympathy cards sent after a pet died, newsy catch-up letters from long distance friends, and Christmas cards with family portraits from over the years. There are a couple of missives that stand out for me. Like the letter I wrote to myself about my dreams of writing and publishing Wednesday Club that was not to be opened for a year after it was delivered. When I did open it, I was well on my way to achieving my dream. What a lovely reminder that I was doing what I’d hoped for.

Another of my favorites is a small card my son sent with a bouquet of flowers that said: “Hey Mom, I wanted to thank you for your amazing support and understanding through a challenging moment. It means the world to me. I won’t let you down.” Now that’s a keeper!

I encourage all of you to send a card or letter to someone special this week. I know postage is going up and up, but how else can you brighten someone’s day for less than a dollar? It doesn’t matter if your handwriting is bad or you don’t have fancy stationery. And don’t worry about saying the perfect words. Try sharing a special memory or a trait in your friend that you admire. Send a cartoon they’d enjoy, or a news article, or a recipe. If you’re really stuck, borrow the words of a poet or writer that you admire.

Remember, it’s a treat to just have something to hold that someone took the time to send. Picture the look on the face of your letter recipient when they’re going through their junk mail and discover a handwritten note from you! Priceless.

Sometimes, when I imagine myself as a very old woman, I savor this image: I’m in a small room surrounded by my boxes of letters and cards. I’m not feeling sad or regretful or lonely; instead, I’m overflowing with joy from all those handwritten words. This is the reason I’m holding on to so many of them. Minimalism and a clutter-free life be damned. To me, they’re all love letters.